Do You Have a Difficult Boss? We Might Help
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“Why are you yelling at the little child, he is only 8 years old!”, Shouted the irritated wife of a 32-year-old young software engineer. This was becoming a regular practice at home after stressful hours of work and the pressure of the taxing job was getting on to the nerves of the young fellow. There is a very unique quality of anger, that it is very contagious and the chain of anger affects the weakest the most. Having a difficult boss at the office affects happiness at home considerably as one brings out all the frustrations of the workplace at home.
It affects the mental health of the employee and hampers his/her self-confidence to a great extent.
You do a great job. You are dedicated to your work and your workplace. You give it your all, but maybe you work for someone who never seems satisfied, or can find fault with everything you do, or doesn’t appreciate you, or is never available—and the list goes on and on.
At times a tough boss can be good for us as well as he can help develop our skills by making us learn the hard way because for some individuals learning the lenient way is not the right way. But on the other hand when the boss is intimidating and discouraging then it becomes very difficult to trust each other in the workplace.
Depending on what research you review, the numbers could be as low as 50% to as high as 75% on the number of employees who quit their jobs not because of the job itself, or the company or a lack of opportunity, but because of their boss
It is a matter of perception when it comes to judging whether a more demanding, challenging and time-bound tough boss can be good for our overall growth or not? To take it positively, one becomes more resilient as a professional under the guidance of a strict boss . A tough boss may give you negative feedback on purpose to frustrate you as well, but when one starts taking it as a growth perspective positively, it may help in the overall development of the professional.
But when you perceive the tough of your boss as a person who is harassing you or pushing you down all the time, then it is time to either start thinking positively or if you cannot handle the pressure then re-think about your boss. It depends on how much you can take it and how much you are affected by the attitude of your boss physically and mentally.
You may do a reality check in your mind with the following points to assess the situation better:
- Was I was appreciated for my work at any point in time?
- What is the reaction of my boss to the final outcome of a given task to me?
- Does he use the same yardstick to assess other fellow workers who do similar kinds of work?
- If I am not treated fairly, then what could be the reason behind the discrimination?
- Can there be a higher goal/expectation that my boss is seeking from me?
If you think you have tried everything and are considering quitting your job just to get away, realize that there are options. Most people don’t understand that the boss relationship is like any other one; it needs to be fed and nurtured.
Many employees think that just by doing their best job, by being a model employee or by working harder and longer, the boss will recognize them and appreciate them. But if communication style, mismatched expectations or a value disconnect are at the heart of the differences, no matter how hard you work, your boss isn’t going to recognize it.
There are some other tips which may help you to understand your boss better:
- What Triggers Him – Try to think from your Boss’s perspective empathetically and try to understand what could be the things that trigger his mood. Most of the time these triggers are associated with work values, ethics or sometimes even basic manners.
- Communicating the Right Way – It is very important for you to make him understand what is going on in your mind in a positive way so that he does not take it as an excuse, and would rather be willing to help you out further. You need to give him regular updates and keep him in the loop as a team man so that he is aware of the little challenges as well that you and the team face which he may not be aware of. Right communication skills can solve most matters in the workplace.
- Giving a Plan B – You must have an alternate solution to the problems at the workplace. This will make your boss feel that you are deeply connected to your work and willing to go the extra mile to get the work done for him.
Working with a boss is like working out a relationship. And relationships are never easy. So you must give your best before you walk out of a relationship because there is always uncertainty in life. You never know if you can walk into your next job as heaven or hell. So giving the best shot in this relationship is always important .
An employee might think that it’s the duty of the boss to look after him and the boss needs to change the workplace dynamic for him, but at times the boss can also think that the employee needs to work according to the boss’s created environment. So at the end of the day, it’s all about trying to adjust as much as you can until it becomes too uncomfortable.