35 Funny Condom Jokes That Are Too Funny
In case you have been searching for “Best Condom Jokes” or Condom Jokes for Instagram, then you are at the right place.
Here is a lengthy compilation of humorous condom jokes. Some of them are applicable to your adolescents. They prevent any unwarranted carnal exploration. Additionally, they aid in preventing pregnancy.
This article contains quotations by poets, writers, and influential figures about Best Condom Jokes Puns Pick Up Lines. Let us explore
Condom Jokes for Instagram Captions And Condom Jokes Puns Funny
Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.
Don’t be silly, protect your willy.
Don’t be a prick, Cover your dick
When in doubt, shroud your spout.
Cover your skin, Before you break her in.
Don’t be a loner, cover your boner.
You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong.
If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
If you think she’s spunky, cover your monkey.
If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
She won’t get sick if you wrap your dick.
If you go into heat, package your meat.
Before you tap it cap it
What do a shark and a condom with a hole in it have in common? You don’t want to mess around with either of them!
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
What’s the best way to avoid getting dog excrements on yourself? Use a condom.
What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.
When I was in school, my Biology teacher had to give us the facts of life talk. During one of the lessons he had to show us how to put on a condom. It was really embarrassing, waiting for him to get hard.
How can you pick out a paranoid woman? She’s the one with a condom on her vibrator.
Dont be a dummy, Cum on her tummy
Even If she’s eager, protect her beaver
Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
Cloak the joker before you poke her
Encase that torch before you paint her porch
Don’t surprise her plug your Geyser
Safe Sex or No Sex
Cover that lumber before you pump her
Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
She won’t bristle if you wrap your whistle
Cage that snake then shake and bake
What do you call a Rock group that practices safe sex? A Rubber band.
What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them into a tire and call it a good year!
What’s the difference between condoms and coffins? They’re both full of stiffs, only one’s coming while the other is going.
Have you ever read the small print on the bottom of a condom? Oh, I see, you’ve never had to roll it down that far.
Why is paying your car insurance like wearing a condom? They both give you a feeling of security even though you know you’re getting messed!