30 Funny Vasectomy Jokes That You Will Love
In case you have been searching for “Best Vasectomy Jokes” or Vasectomy Jokes for Instagram, then you are at the right place.
Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and our collection of humorous vasectomy-themed sayings can help relieve anxiety or break the ice when discussing the procedure with friends or family. Our vasectomy quips are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face and demonstrate that laughter is indeed the best medicine, whether you’re recovering from the procedure or simply looking for a way to lighten the mood.
This article contains quotations by poets, writers, and influential figures about Best Vasectomy Jokes Puns Pick Up Lines. Let us explore
Vasectomy Jokes for Instagram Captions And Vasectomy Jokes Puns Funny
Did you hear about the new funny vasectomy doctor in town? His name is Howie Snippet- if you’re done having babies, he’ll fix it!
How do you describe a man who had a successful vasectomy? A cut above the rest!
Do you have another funny Vasectomy joke? Post your own Vasectomy puns in the comment section below.
Do you know that the vasectomy procedure was pioneered by the Greek physician, Euclipides? His original instructions were as follows: “Euclipides nuts.”
What does a king call a vasectomy? An heir cut.
What do you call a cheap vasectomy? A bloody ripoff.
Did you hear about the surgeon who botched a vasectomy? He got the sack.
A doctor accidentally emailed the results of all his vasectomy patients to everyone on the internet. They were publicly desemenated.
A man went to the doctor to get a vasectomy. The doctor said, “This a really big decision you know. Have you discussed it with your wife and kids?” He said, “Yes, they’re in favor 14 to 3..”
What did the balls yell at the penis after the vasectomy? “You’re nutting without me!”
Why did the old black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy? “Cause if I gonna be impotent, I better look impotent, too.”
What do vasectomies and breathalyzers have in common? The goal is to blow a zero.
What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger gets his vasectomy reversed? Scrotal re-ball.
Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy? Because open balls are in his neighborhood.
I’m sure you’ll be fine after your vasectomy as long as you don’t try to “make sure it works” right afterwards; try to just listen to your doctor’s post-op advice.
Shooting blanks is okay- action movie stars do that all the time! Good luck with your recovery after the vasectomy.
How does sex change for a man before and after a vasectomy? You won’t notice a vas deferens.
Wishing you a speedy recovery from your vasectomy; I know that you asked them to add a few inches, so don’t be disappointed when you realize that’s not how it works.
Someone told me you are getting fixed- I thought that meant you were seeing a psychiatrist, but a vasectomy is just as necessary.
Congratulations on your successful vasectomy! I hope your doctor had a steadier hand than your barber.
My wife wants to prove she’s brave enough to get a vasectomy. I told her she doesn’t have the balls to do it.
Vasectomy or no vasectomy, Vas the deferens.
What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy? A dry martinez.
The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama.
The doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn’t be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count ‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5…’ at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
If you schedule your vasectomy for October 31st, the doctor will give you the “Hollow-weenie” discount!
Are you worried about the vasectomy affecting your sexual performance? Your wife told me it can’t get any worse.
When you told your wife you were getting a vasectomy, did she think you were just kidding? Well, you can’t anymore!