50 Trending Vampire Puns and Jokes You Will Love
In case you have been searching for “Best Vampire Puns and Jokes” or Vampire Puns for Instagram, then you are at the right place.
From the immortal Count Dracula to the dazzling Edward Cullen, vampires linger around every corner in our culture. At Kidadl, we prefer to give them humorous names, such as Pointy Toothed Sun Haters, Count Duckula, and Sparkles (if they’re adorable).
This Halloween, if you are dressing as a vampire, you should refine your funny vampire sayings. They should be fairly simple; can you master “bleh, bleh, bleh”? This is the famous phrase that people believe vampires always utter. Don’t be deceived though, it’s probably just a poorly quoted version of Bela Lugosi’s line from the film Dracula, where he said ‘blood!’ This makes much more logic, but we find the error version to be much funnier!
This article contains quotations by poets, writers, and influential figures about Best Vampire Puns One Liners. Let us explore
Vampire Puns for Captions And Vampire Puns Funny
You can’t ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They’re way too busy looking for their necks victim.
A vampire can’t be a comedian. They just aren’t funny, and they always know they suck.
I met the child of a snowman and a vampire. He was suffering from a serious case of frostbite.
What do you call a foolish vampire? “A silly sucker.”
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? “A blood orange.”
Which building do vampires always visit when in New York? “The Vampire State Building.”
Why are vampires like false teeth? “They come out at night.”
Why did the vampire keep acting batty? “It was in his blood.”
Who plays striker for the vampire soccer team? “The ghoulscorer.”
If you’re wondering if someone’s become a vampire, there’s an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
There’s a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What city do vampires hate most? “Seoul, Korea.”
What’s a vampire’s favorite type of dog? “A blood hound.”
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a laptop? “Love at first byte.”
What’s a vampire’s favorite cocktail? “A Bloody Mary.”
Where do vampires keep their money? “In the blood bank.”
Why did the vampire break up with her boyfriend? “Because he wasn’t her type.”
Vampires don’t like deep sea fishing – they prefer fishing in the blood stream.
A vampires once tried to cheer me up. He said we all feel a little drained now and then.
I wasn’t invited to the vampire party. I hope it sucks.
A Vampire broke up with his girlfriend. A blood test showed she wasn’t his blood type.
On reflection, vampires aren’t actually that scary.
When vampires look in the mirror, they can’t see anything wrong with themselves.
Vampires are not real… unless you Count Dracula.
Vegan vampires can’t take any risks – one stake could kill him.
A vampire lost his coffin – it was a grave situation.
Vampires seem to always live on dead-end streets.
Gave a vampire a stake and now he’s…well…done.
Two vampires feel in love – it was love at first bite.
The reason vampires suck … it’s in their blood.
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
I know a couple of vampire puns. But they all suck.
College-age vampires only ever shop in one place – Forever 21.
Vampires tend to drink Blood Light, but only from a longneck bottle.
Don’t get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
I hope you have a bloody good Halloween!
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don’t think they’re funny, but it’s probably to do with them being pun-dead.
You are just my blood type.
I hope you have a fang-tastic Halloween!
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn’t find a role he could sink his teeth into.
If you want to kill a French vampire, you will need to stab him with a baguette. It’s pretty painstaking if you ask me.
One thing you won’t catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
If you kill a werewolf with silver bullets, how do you kill a vampire? “Hallow points.”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ? “Frostbite.”
What do redneck vampires drink ? “Blood Light.”
Why don’t vampires like to smoke? “They always end up coffin.”
What does a vampire say when he catches someone? “You’re my neck-st victim.”